The Bald and the Beautiful

The irony of this whole process is that I don’t feel sick. Fatigued a little (and my two big toes have gone numb…go figure? ) but besides that, pretty normal. This new chemo is so much easier then what I started out with. Life has not changed much except for the fact that I am completely bald. (and doing the laundry is exhausting, okay you got me, it was exhausting before I got cancer! LOL!) So before I get into discussing the struggles of being hairless, I must share a funny moment (or several…the shock factor of unexpected baldness can be quite entertaining!) After being told by the wig lady to not go completely bald, I left about a centimeter of what hair was left, when I had it shaved. A rather sporty, look, but due to bum advise, my wig seemed to pull on what hair was hanging on and gave me a headache. So I decided to go completely Kojak and go for a smooth, stubble free noggin. Using Heyward’s electric shaver I thought I had done a pretty thorough shave job. I go into the office to model my new look to him, this is how the conversation went
Me: So what do you think, do I look like Britney Spears?
Husband: No, more like a Harekrishna, you missed a spot on the top back part of your head…
Me: Maybe I can put on a flowy rob, and work the tambourine at the airport, who knows it could turn into a lucrative income….
It is so easy to get lost in the irony of it all. Riding down the road, I rub my chin, a stiff hair is sticking out. 3 of my eyelashes remain, 90% of my body hair is gone (including bikini line hair, which hey, is a good thing!) but yet I have this stiff witchy-poo whisker sticking out, that no one has bothered to tell me to pluck! Ya have to laugh! I do rotate wearing one of my 3 wigs to work, but after having one on all day, trust me, I am ready to take it off as soon as I get in the car! I am sure I have gotten some funny stares, as well as almost caused a few car accidents riding down the road with my shiny head reflecting in the sun. (note to self, remember to bring head scarf.) I am usually working a bandana around the head, or one of my many selection of baseball hats (newest one given to me by the FORD Dealership, says “Tough Girl” I love it!) So I am going to share a few funny snippets from my day:
Me sporting a pink bandana with big loopy silver ears…
Heyward: Honey, you go girl with that “Pirates of the Caribbean” look!
Me: aaarrrrrgggg, matey…bite me!
Me sporting a blue bandana
Heyward: So are you a Crypt or a Blood today? (for those who don’t get it, inner city hoodlums wear bandanas to identify what gang they belong too)
Me: Yo, Yo, dog,… bite me!
My baldness under a baseball hat does not allow me any anonymity about my cancer. I go to the grocery store and a sweet lady tells me she is a survivor and I will get through this, in the bookstore, the clerk tells me she is hitting her one year mark of beating cancer, and shows me some great book to read. A man stops me in the parking lot, his wife is a survivor and they are part of a support group, he gives me her number. I am not ashamed, I am bald, I am bold, and because of the great support, laughter and love I receive from my friends, family and husband I feel beautiful (and blessed!). As Robin Givens (from Good Morning America fame) and a breast cancer survivor, said so bravely…”My hair does not define me.”